on artifact size

dm: there is a cannon on wheels in the center of the room. it is the artifact you are looking for

p1: is this icon accurate? 2 squares across 3 squares down?

dm: yes

p2: you realize that this won't fit through any of the hallways, right?

dm: ...um

me: did you forget to account for its size?

dm: I make no statement regarding this.

somethingdnd:

thewenglishwarlock:

atthegamingtable:

littlemissmasked:

Want to make your DM’s day? Drink the unidentified potion. 

As a DM, I wholeheartedly agree.

Yep, as a DM I’d say;

drink the unidentified potion which makes sounds like warnings when it bubbles,

trust the strange person with a laugh that sounds like rain on a tin roof,

don’t question why your employer uses phrases you’ve never encountered,

be unspecific with your wishes when faced with a genie who smiles too broadly,

follow that noise in the night that makes your hair stand on end and makes the air smell like freshly cut grass,

take the sword that shines just a little too keenly from the statue proffering it,

ignore the corridor which looks like it’s been swept clean floor, walls, and ceiling

What’s the worst that could happen?

the worst that could happen is a hell of an adventure

THANK YOU!

I know it’s metagaming, but every now and then I have to stand up from behind my GM and screen and remind my players “Look, I’m not ACTUALLY trying to kill you.”

If I wanted to kill you, you’d be dead. Yes, there are three doors in front of you.  Sure, you should check them out and do your due diligence to choose the “right” one.  But picking the wrong one isn’t going to release the tarrasque and his black dragon girlfriend to eat you all, unless you’re at-level and/or have enough magical treasure to handle that sort of thing.  

I’m not saying you should trust us.  Just have a little bit of faith.

koboldbard:

Let’s talk about Chaotic Neutral!

I have this really extremely pared down version of Alignment in my head where Good is selflessness and Evil is selfishness, Law is having a self defined ethos and Chaos is a conditional one. So, to me, a Chaotic Neutral character would be a person of about average self interest but will act more in the moment as the need arises. I know people who would fit this idea and they’re very passionate. It seems like this would make for a rather compelling character, with plenty of room for growth. Off the top of my head, with this rough framework, I could easily deal the themes of maturity, addiction, art, commitment, the need for adventure, trust. But, like, I’ve played D&D for more than a decade, and I played with a lot of good players, I’ve played with a lot of bad players. The thing that stands out is that Chaotic Neutral is the alignment people pick when they want to offensively portray a person with a mental illness or somebody who is just going to inevitably dick over the party by intentionally not thinking things through. Is this a thing that happens a lot with other groups?

Alignment is one of the major flaws of D&D in my opinion, and I really don’t have a good relationship with it, but a lot of people really like it, so I’d like to know what you have to say. How do you define Chaotic Neutral? What works about it, what doesn’t? Do you know of any memorable characters that didn’t just fall into the same stereotypes or random humor?

So this has been in my drafts folder since January.  I have one friend who plays nothing but chaotic neutral, or occasionally chaotic good.  But his characters never deteriorated into what you describe here.  If someone is consistently making decisions that screw over the party,that’s not neutral.  Especially if it results in some sort of gain for that player, that’s not chaotic neutral.

"Neutral" should not mean without purpose or direction  A character without motivation isn’t "neutral;" they’re lazy.

Cliff’s are for climbing. That’s why God gave us grappling hooks.

Benton Fraser, “Due South”, Pizzas and Promises (S1, E5).

thoughtspirals:

Still want to play a DnD 3e game where everyone plays either non-combat classes (like the courtier from the rokugan book) or NPC classes and we all run a village, dealing things like taxes and crop problems and division of labor and what happens when adventurers come to town. Probably wouldn’t work for a full campaign but it would be fun for a short game!!

thoughtspirals:

Still want to play a DnD 3e game where everyone plays either non-combat classes (like the courtier from the rokugan book) or NPC classes and we all run a village, dealing things like taxes and crop problems and division of labor and what happens when adventurers come to town. Probably wouldn’t work for a full campaign but it would be fun for a short game!!

(Source: matterhorned)